An electrical power surge paused Metro-North Commuter Railroad train service in Matthattan Monday afternoon, leaving 47,000 commuters with out transportation.
(Anchor/VO)
Power was lost due to a squirrel scampering around the on the power lines causing an electrical surge, Metro-North spokeswoman Donna Evan says. This weakened an overhead bracket causing a wire to dangle down and get entrapped in a train passing underneath that ended up tearing down all the lines.
The commuters waited for hours, but trains never came. Service was not restore until Tuesday morning.
Please use ALL CAPS for broadcast writing.
ReplyDeleteYour lead would work if you were writing a news brief for print, but you need to do things differently for broadcast. First, get the listener's/viewer's attention, then tell them the hard news -- the 5W/1H info.
For example, I might start out with:
METRO-NORTH COMMUTERS WAITED FOR HOURS THIS AFTERNOON FOR TRAINS THAT NEVER CAME. WHAT CAUSED THE HOLD-UP? A SQUIRREL. YES, THAT'S RIGHT ... A SQUIRREL.
Then get into the hard news.
The other thing I'd suggest is reading broadcast copy out loud. That'll help you tell if it works.
7/10