Robert Kent, the man who was rescued, is in his 50's and retired says Rob Piper, San Jose fire Captain. The cause of the fire is under investigation, but there wasn't a smoke detector present. It happened in a single-story home on Annapolis Way. The fire started in the kitchen and spread to the attic with smoke engulfed the whole house.
Firefighters rescued the man from his burning house. They pulled him out of the kitchen while he was surrounded by flames. Piper said Kent has second and third-degree burns on 50 percent of his body. He was founded on the kitchen floor, unconscious. A nursing supervisor at Valley Medical Center in San Jose said that Kent was listed in grave condition.
The news is not that there was a house fire, it's that a man was rescued from his burning house under rather dramatic circumstances. That's what should be in your lead. Also, your lead is a run-on sentence.
ReplyDeleteP2-3: Ask yourself what's more important (and more interesting): that there wasn't a smoke detector in the house and that the fire is under investigation, or that firefighters rescued a guy after finding him unconscious on his kitchen floor, surrounded by flames? I don't think it's the smoke detector.
Proofread!
* fire captain (don't capitalize a title unless it comes right before the person's name)
* with smoke engulfing the whole house
* in his 50s (not 50's)
* He was found (not founded) on the kitchen floor
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